


Wacky operetta

by Straj



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-25
Updated: 2016-12-26
Packaged: 2018-09-12 01:03:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,955
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9049063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Straj/pseuds/Straj
Summary: Another stupid idea landed in my head.Without much killing, but with the corpse





	1. Mycroft

Mycroft appears at Baker street dressed in an elegant suit of gray, going from black machine.

Mycroft

 

Someone from sole to cuff links,  
Someone from the umbrella to the crown?  
Elegance itself,  
Crazy about me  
And very respectable  
Gentleman gray,  
And boy!  
And when easily and simply  
Go to the crossroads —  
One hundred buses in a row  
Still standing.  
And beeping machines —  
The beauty of the fireworks.  
Who are you?

Anthea  
in a black dress

 

Mycroft Mr. Mycroft.  
Mycroft Mr. Mycroft  
— You're very beautiful,  
You're perfect,  
From the smile to the gesture  
Above all praise!

 

Mycroft

 

Oh what bliss,  
Oh what bliss,  
Know that I am perfection,  
Know that I'm ideal.

 

Anthea

 

Mycroft Mr. Mycroft.  
Mycroft Mr. Mycroft — Mycroft

 

Mycroft

 

Who the government knows everything?  
The holes in the budget always patches?  
Easily and without hardship  
Better than any doctor  
Sherlock saves  
Summer and winter  
Only smile one?

 

Anthea

 

Mycroft Mr. Mycroft.  
Mycroft Mr. Mycroft  
— You're very beautiful,  
You're perfect,  
From the smile to the gesture  
Above all praise!

 

Mycroft

 

Oh what bliss,  
Oh what bliss,  
Know that I am perfection,  
Know that I'm ideal.

Anthea

 

Mycroft Mr. Mycroft.  
Mycroft Mr. Mycroft — Mycroft

 

Mycroft

 

Sherlock may be older,  
I just don't get old  
And again and again  
He will remember  
And dream of me.  
May be years  
Never forget.

 

Anthea

 

Mycroft Mr. Mycroft  
Mycroft Mr. Mycroft.  
— You're very beautiful,  
You're perfect,  
From the smile to the gesture  
Above all praise!

 

Mycroft

 

Oh what bliss,  
Oh what bliss,  
Know that I am perfection,  
Know that I'm ideal.

 

Anthea

 

Mycroft Mr. Mycroft.  
Mycroft Mr. Mycroft — Mycroft


	2. Sherlock

Sherlock sits on the sofa, bare feet tucked under him, playing the violin, singing.

Sherlock  
sadly

 

Again to where corpses lie  
Again, where the townspeople are shaking  
Shining a spotlight  
People shout,  
So watch out, a swindler and a crook!

With the death of play  
Brave and bold is my turn.  
Shocked, silent people,  
Listening to the violin  
John sad sigh,  
I will say with a smile  
Idiot!

Yes, I'm a Shamus, detective...  
So what?  
You may not like me,  
As all people is far from me!!!  
Never give hands.

She puts the violin, gets up from the couch and walks to the window. And sees his brother.  
Angrily sings on.

The bow lowered,  
And I'm tired of longing.  
And I would have  
To stretch the brain.

At my feet the flowers do not fly  
And I have no way back!  
And the day ends, put out the light  
And no one next to me, no.

Tears drop  
On the wet sand,  
No one knows  
As my path alone.  
Through the snow and wind  
I meant to go,  
Never shines  
I am a native window.

I'm tired of bask  
At another fire,  
But where is the heart  
That will love me.  
Live without affection,  
The pain of his zataya,  
Always be in the mask  
My destiny.

 

Moving away from the window and locks himself in his room.

But this time Mycroft starts to batter in the door. But no one answers. Mycroft angrily spits at his feet and comes back to the car.

***

 

After some time at the end of the street appear in half-hour increments — Greg, John and Martha.


	3. John

John, cheerfully waving a shopping bag, close to home. He cheerfully sings.

John

 

If I go with a shopping bag —  
It does not matter,  
I'll buy a pug,  
Yes, Yes, Yes.  
In my head, little thoughts,  
"To play would be the game of cards",

 

John came to the house. Mycroft he could not see.

 

Living well in the world  
Watson John!  
Because care  
Affection surrounded  
And no matter what I do,  
If I scold I will not,  
But I will not blame,  
Unless, of course,  
Sherlock cleaned up,  
Yes!

John opened the door, came in and began to busy myself with cooking, singing.

 

Where is Sherlock going?  
A big, big secret.  
And don't tell we about it,  
Oh, no, no, and no.

 

He quickly made dinner and went to call Sherlock. But then someone knocked on the door. John opened it and saw Mycroft. Taken aback, and then sang.

Who goes to visit in the morning  
He is wise.  
It is known to all, the tar-couples  
On that it and morning!  
Boring evening time,  
Owners yawn.  
And as a guest to kick off  
Little do they know!  
But if the guest came in the morning,  
This does not happen!  
Yes, if the guest came in the morning,  
Him no need to hurry.  
The owners shout: "Hurrah!"  
They are so excited!  
No wonder the sun to visit us  
Always comes in the morning.  
The tar-pairs, natural pairs,  
Visit in the morning!

 

Mycroft pursed his lip and answered.

 

I — Mycroft, Mycroft, Mycroft!  
I'm not a bandit,  
And not nice to me  
From pendel to fly.  
But at home you've got here  
Order and comfort!  
Let me in, my dear John,  
For a few minutes!


	4. Greg.... Dog howling

Greg came to the house on Baker street, something fun whistling., but near the door he bumped into Mycroft, which is not allowed in the house.  
— What do I see!!! — cried Greg.  
— Who are you? — grimly asked Mycroft, vigorously walked slightly ahead of doors. What Greg and introduced himself:

I have a brilliant detective.  
I don't need help.  
I'll even find a zit  
The body of an elephant.  
Like a lion fight,  
I am working like a bee,   
And the scent, as in dogs,  
And eyes like an eagle.

My hand iron  
Fear, like fire,  
And in General useless  
To hide from me.  
Quicker macaques,  
Stronger ox.  
And the scent, as in dogs,  
And eyes like an eagle.

I've been in different countries,  
And if you want,  
Soon  
I'm all exposed.  
As a mouse, sneaking around in the darkness,  
Floating like a flounder.  
And the scent, as in dogs,  
And eyes like an eagle.

 

— And it and not — Mycroft shrugged, - and actually, I've come a little closer. And I have business to my brother.  
— No! — said Greg. — I have to do this more. Let me, quickly.  
But John slammed the door in both of them and went to cook lunch.

***

And somewhere in the far woods Devon walked a large dog and plaintive cry on fate.

It is because of the suit  
I will not be in happiness life?  
I offended evil fate...  
Ah, why am I blue?

I want to find friend  
But so far only one swearing  
I hear everywhere...  
Ah, why am I blue?

 

The dog, it was a healthy male, all shined because eaten in the fields of government, the rabbits themselves were glowing, because eating all sorts of secret stuff. A dog was howling for a couple more minutes then decided to get to London and talk to Holmes.

***

 

And Baker street came Martha. It is a shopping bag, were all dispersed, and arms akimbo, began to sing:

Me some fifty, that's the concern,  
Me to live, to hunting.  
Many souls of the innocent to destroy,  
Sherlock and John love

For yourself, the beauty, yeah  
Truth can not.  
Who is my beloved?  
I! I! I!

I do not tolerate Mycroft and Greg.  
Not questioned in the winter snow.  
In London, a beautiful wander,  
Themselves look beautiful.

For yourself, the beauty, yeah  
Truth can not.  
Who is my beloved?  
I! I! I!


	5. Who will take hold of the attention of Sherlock?

Mycroft finally slipped into the house, overcoming the resistance of Martha and John sank into a chair and began to lay the request

I often travel to Africa  
Australia, Brazil,  
Usually planes  
And less water  
But if you are my brother,  
Call you Sherlock.  
This request England  
To ignore you just take your time.

There are no Indians  
Blacks, Chinese and Syrians  
But white in this city  
Already without exception.  
But if you are my brother,  
Call you Sherlock.  
This request England  
To ignore you just take your time.

 

Sherlock appeared in the living room in a filthy robe and sat down on the couch.

On the couch I lie,  
And the window still looking...  
All lie and lie-  
In the window you see.

 

Mycroft was angry

— Sit down and listen.  
— You sit, and I lie —

Muttered Sherlock.

The mailman, he, he goes,  
The sun in the sky, cluck, cluck floats.  
Only I lie  
And Mycroft look!

 

Mycroft decided to accept this bad behavior stupid brother

On the couch Sherl was lying  
Hands and wiggles  
I'm sitting  
And Sherlock look

 

\- Okay guys, - Sherlock deigned to sit on the sofa is out!

Mycroft

 

Time! Two! Three! Four! Five!  
The dog went for a walk!  
Have eaten rabbit it is in the grass meadow,  
Yeah and it was blue!  
You, my brother, early in the morning,  
Come to the secret glade.  
And dog blue get  
And in the secret of NIIT bring!

 

Sherlock

 

I would go from home  
But so scary to me.  
Premonition my soul is full,  
What request, I will leave without attention!

 

Mycroft, losing patience

Finish you this nonsense!  
That rabbit was a secret instance  
The dog attempted in order,  
I need to know I need!

 

Sherlock

 

Everything is funny, your grief  
I do not share. To grow carrots  
In the secret valleys and meadows!  
Oh, my God! Yes, it's just fear!

 

Mycroft furious

Now shed your blood,  
Now shed your blood,  
Now shed your blood,  
Now shed, shed...

 

Sherlock, falling on the sofa

Go Away, Mycroft!  
Leave my house.  
You I do not want to see...

 

Mycroft grabs Sherlock's hand

Please, my brother!  
Please take care of you!  
I'll pay the bet.  
She is dangerous, the dog...

 

Sherlock

 

Well, let's see  
What can be done.  
Now go away!  
And let me think!

 

Mycroft leaves.


	6. Evil plans

In the meantime, Moriarty was lying in his apartment on the couch with a stupid smile on his pale face sang a song.

I don't know of failures  
Because I'm slick.  
Since the road will pass,  
Will get you in trouble  
Will get you in trouble

We must live skillfully.  
Must live effortlessly.  
In General, it is necessary, brothers, live  
Happily ever after.

All babies-suckers,  
Deceived and was gone.  
No worries, sorrows and troubles!  
Don't know, this is nonsense!  
Don't know, this is nonsense!

We must live skillfully.  
Must live effortlessly.  
In General, it is necessary, brothers, live  
Happily ever after.

 

Moriarty was going to make good business -- in which his old enemy Holmes along with obnoxious Dr. Watson will be destroyed forever, London police trampled into the mud, the older Holmes kicked out of the government, and he, with his accomplices, will be looking to London.

But then came Moran and Magnussen. They were drunk, and they carried VielleBonSecours for $ 800. And they choir sang the following

They say we byaki-Buki,  
How shall we land?  
Right now we have card pick up  
And show that not in vain!

Oh-La-La! Oh-La-La!  
And show that not in vain!  
Oh-La-La! Oh-La-La!  
Ah-mA!

Tomorrow detective our  
Go to the swamp;  
And because we do not like  
To help us there is no hunting!

Oh-La-La, Oh-La-La,  
To help us there is no hunting!  
Oh-La-La, Oh-La-La,  
Ah-mA!

Detective card bit  
And ditched the whole Scotland Yard...  
The case will be hush-hush —  
Cards speak the truth  
Oh-La-La, Oh-La-La,  
Cards speak the truth.  
Oh-La-La, Oh-La-La,  
Ex-ha!

 

— It is useless! — shouted at them Jim, - I'm here, you know, I think, as Holmes lime, and you are drunken.  
— All right, — they answered, — we have a grandiose plan, and we'll explain.


	7. In the white mist of Devon silvery

It all started just fine. They came to this damned, NIIT, checked everything. They very well met, all shown and fed at a local cafeteria.  
But John suspected that all is not well in this world and, to his horror, he was right. As soon as they were behind a fence in an army jeep, Sherlock took.  
And now John was driving, with the fear of listening to the recital wafting from the back seat.

Past the white Apple of the moon  
By red Apple sunset  
Clouds from an unknown country  
To us in a hurry, and ran back somewhere.

Clouds — celestial horses!  
Cloud — what you rush without looking back?  
You do not see, please down  
And sky take us, clouds!

 

No doubt. Sherlock's beautiful voice and to hear him was a pleasure. Sonorous voice echoing in the surroundings, and the words... And in the words of John and not listened.

We'll fly in Cuckooland,  
Past the fading stars in the sky.  
To us silently down a star  
And the Daisy remains in your hands!

Clouds — celestial horses!  
Cloud — what you rush without looking back?  
You do not see, please down  
And sky take us, clouds!  
You do not see, please down  
And sky take us, clouds!

Finally John slowed down to about a top-secret field. Stopped the car, climbed into the back seat and began to lead Sherlock back to reality.  
\- I don't want to shake. - Sherlock out of the car, - I'm fine.What have we here?  
They had a healthy field sown with carrots and cabbage.  
\- Well, well, - Sherlock walked around the garden beds and taking advantage of the carelessness of his friend, chewed on one cabbage leaf and a carrot, - we go back, there is resolutely nothing to do.

***

 

In the middle of the way back, John was forced to stop the car. Sherl came out of the jeep, climbed the first hill and was now standing there, surveying the surroundings.  
John tried to shout, but realized that it dull, he reached. And there was something inexplicable and wild.

Sherl took him by the shoulders, looking at him with huge light-gray eyes, which drowned the black dot of the pupil began.

A snowstorm covered the slopes of the mountain peaks  
And white white earth.  
A Kingdom of isolation,  
The king was me.  
And the wind moans, and the heart of a hurricane.  
I used to keep it, but I can't.  
Heart — led, soul — Blizzard!  
I am not human, that's the whole secret!  
John be a good man,  
Close all the senses of the castle  
But all in vain!

Let me go and forget  
What has passed will not return.  
Let me go and forget  
A new day you will show the way.  
I'm not afraid of nothing,  
Let the storm rage on —  
The cold never bothered me anyway.

And I run away,  
Afraid to protect you.  
And fear a new days  
You really can't catch, believe me!  
Why do you wanna know what I can do?  
Go from the world I'm in a Blizzard!  
And death will find in the ice!  
Forever!

Let me go and forget  
The world of your dreams.  
Let me go and forget  
And no more of your tears.  
Here is my home,  
And grave my.  
Let the storm rage on.  
Nothing holding me back.

 

John, stunned, stunned, outraged, did not find anything better than to hug his friend and to sing.

Let the snow is sparkling,  
And the air, cold as ice,  
Nobody will be taken away!  
You are subject to emotions,  
I know  
But indeed, your destiny!  
Deduction is a wonderful gift.  
And now I know, as I continue to be!  
Without you I'm not going back  
You have to forget everything.

Open my heart  
And fears all away  
And in the sky to Shine  
Let go of the soul and the pain forget,  
We'll double star  
We meet  
First its dawn.  
Let the storm rage on —  
Sherlock. I always was like.

 

Sherlock buried his face in his friend's shoulder and cried.


	8. Swamp showdown

Did not have time to stop crying Sherlock, as John heard the chilling singing. It raced from the top, and the roar of the helicopter landed on the lawn beyond the hill. Watson took Sherlock down and hid under a low boulder, and myself on this boulder sat up and braced.

From the helicopter fell three unsavory characters — Moriarty, Moran and Magnussen and, standing in a semicircle, moved to John, singing:

And as you know, we the people are hot  
Oh, and don't like calf tenderness  
But we love veal but soul

We love to hit people  
We love to hit people  
We love to hit people,  
And twiddle

We time the robbers ,  
The robbers, the robbers  
Bang Bang, all dead,  
Dead, dead  
Bang Bang and all dead,  
Dead, dead

And who sees us, he immediately gasp  
And for someone whiff of fried  
And something in his bosom we keep  
We have not come,  
We have not come,  
We have not come,  
And then slaughter!

The bandits had not yet come, and John drew his revolvers and boldly looking into the faces of the villains, singing

Oh Watson — you're the man dashing forward!  
Came the day of my glory;  
To me a bandit three go  
Thinking that they are gods!  
Who hears in the fields  
Those bandits screaming?  
They promise, ominous wild,  
The killing of women and children.

I am armed, gentlemen!  
In the hands of my revolvers!  
Let the blood gang  
Drink these fields!

Moriarty stopped in amazement and stopped his friends, but then out of the fog emerged a long black limo which left Mycroft in a black raincoat and black umbrella.

— Mycroft?! — resentfully handed Jim, - you're limousine is inappropriate.  
— ... Dzhigurda on the stage of the Grand Opera house... - said Moran.

Mycroft did not have time to reply to this sassy remark, as out of the fog flew out Dzhigurda in a kilt and under repulsive words danced a complex mixture of ballet, break dance and tap dancing past stunned opponents.

— I — normal, I — genius, I — sexy!

Oppa Dzhigurda! Dzhigurda!  
— Gigor...  
— Yes!

Hey, love is stronger!  
Op-op-op! Oppa Dzhigurda!

Yes, the Kingdom of heaven lives in my chest  
Yes, even if everyone around me will say, "trendy!"  
Pride will not cover me with its star,

Oppa Dzhigurda! Dzhigurda!  
Op-op-op-op! Oppa Dzhigurda!  
Dzhigurda!  
Op-op-op-op! Oppa Dzhigurda!

Danced and disappeared in the fog.

— What just happened? - asked Jim, looking after a red spot.  
\- You called a Jig...  
— TS! — stopped Moran Magnussen — if you again will call him then we're dead.  
— You yourself, Moriarty, out of place in this swamp, as Mr. Michalkoff in the movie — cut off Mycroft.

Dived on top of something shaggy with long mustache and a face reminiscent of Russian Director Mihalkova. And it sang.

I — asshole bumblebee  
On the fragrant hops  
The grey Heron I was flying.  
And I fly into the cane,  
Where Bondarchuk sitting  
The relationship of the Russian soul.

So go for the cut of the budget for the movie,  
On sunset, on sunset and everywhere!  
And let our patriotism like snow in the spring,  
But in the garden we put together!

 

Damn it flew and sang, but this shaggy beast began to wrap all the sticky tapes of their highly Patriotic films.

John rushed to the Schorl and concealed it from mischief, Mycroft slipped into the limo, and the bandits were left standing.


	9. An end to the evil plans

Top seroquel helicopter, it dispersed the fog and confusion. Landed. And it left Greg, armed to the teeth and moved in the direction of the Moriarty gang, singing

I — Lestrade, Greg! I like a supercop!  
I am the son of his era  
I'm Superman, I'm a gentleman,  
My works good.  
On me — protective armor.  
Powerful and beautiful,  
I'm here because without me  
Not to be a detective.

I here and there I here and there,  
I need every hour!  
I was there, and then where will send,  
And send often.  
I was there, and then where will send,  
And send often.

I'm a COP, I'm everywhere I go  
I demolish all the obstacles.  
I'm like butter to a knife.  
And go out, where necessary.  
I don't bring bullet wounds  
Whistling flying away,  
Does not break my pocket  
The coin is gold

Seeing Lestrade, a gang of swindlers and scoundrels tried to escape, but the helicopter they were buried under sugar jam highly Patriotic films that safely dissolved. So they, as one, hung on stupid faces and singing, gradually walking backwards

We thugs, Gangstas  
We knuckle — gun!  
We shoot to kill  
Steal this and that.  
Banks, offices, President  
Rob at one point,  
And for it Directors  
We shoot the film!

We Bandito, famous,  
We strelet knuckles,pistols,  
We in Bentley razezzhat  
The whole day in the convertible,  
Always drink Cinzano,  
Constantly sated,drunk,  
Keep in Banco is one million  
And Levanto on the law.

We are the pirates of the performers,  
We señores de La Thieves,  
Citizens flee  
In scattered Presto soon  
A La Beno del Bambino  
All play gangsters  
MA DAC a coin  
And to shoot a gun!

But the nearest bog stopped their senseless escape. Moriarty decided that it was better to get away, but Moran still end all and started shooting. He had hurt John (not dangerous), to scratch your beloved umbrella Mycroft (non-fatal), and Greg killed him from a rocket launcher. And the rest were arrested.  
And all participants left for their destinations.

As John caught Sherlock sat behind the wheel, putting the other on the back seat, and began to sing him a lullaby

Spoon the fog interfering with,  
The night goes great,  
What are you, johnny, don't sleep.  
Sleep in burrows mouse  
The sparrows on the roof  
Sleep and you come on, baby.  
Sleep in burrows mouse  
The sparrows on the roof  
Sleep and you come on, baby.

We are flying with jeep  
Through the mist and gloom,  
Through the plain,  
Our Brigantine  
Slipping away to the white heaven  
In the sky stars  
Today we are shining,  
Like ships.  
In the sky stars  
Today we are shining,  
Like ships.

The voice of Sherlock's magnificent, he led the car gently, and John fell asleep, lulled by that voice.

Spoon the fog interfering with,  
The night goes great,  
What are you, johnny, don't sleep.  
Sleep in burrows mouse  
The sparrows on the roof  
Sleep and you come on, baby.  
Sleep in burrows mouse  
The sparrows on the roof  
Sleep and you come on, baby.


	10. Dog in London

And poor blue dog reached London, and, howling piteously, began to look for Holmes.  
She was crying blue tears and sadly sang:

The dog is biting  
Only by living dog  
Only from life, from a life dog  
The dog is biting.

Dog missing teeth for the heel  
The dog eats the citizen horse  
And with her citizen cat  
When the resident dog is not in the booth,  
When she howls in the stomach  
And it is clear to everyone that this dog is an orphan.

No missing teeth for the heel  
No one eats the citizen horse  
And with her citizen cat  
When the dog has a doghouse and bowl,  
The moon and in the stomach sausage.  
And it is clear to everyone that this dog is not an orphan.

The dog is unhappy is very dangerous,  
After all, she was not lucky in this life terrible,  
Horrible as she was not lucky,  
Therefore, it barks like a dog  
Therefore, it is evil, like a dog.  
And it is clear to everyone that this dog indiscriminately chews.

Beautiful dog sitting in the booth,  
Have it blossom in the soul of forget-me-nots,  
The stomach plays the clarinet,  
But joking with a stray dog a stray  
Threat especially dark midnight.  
Here is the huge, here is the dog, big dog's secret!

And at one of the crossroads she met... Mark with Ian.  
Mark rushed to the poor dog and wrapped her blue face with his hands. The dog licked him and gave

Man dog friend  
Know it all around.  
It is clear to all, two and two,  
No kinder creature.

He does not bark, does not bite,  
Passers-by is not evident,  
And cats — zero attention.  
This is the education!

Paw first serve,  
Will nerves does not give.  
No one has noticed  
For once, he growled!

 

— Now you're ours! — Mark said and led the dog to her home

***

 

HERE THE OPERETTA THE END  
AND WHO READ AND PRESENTED —  
Well DONE!


End file.
